You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I did not marry a roomba.
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