His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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