this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
