Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
