Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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