Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
it's like iHOP with fire
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
