HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
