Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize