Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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