Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
