I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
