Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
