my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
