I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
