I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
