Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I don't think brook has ever known best
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
