i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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