You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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