Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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