Pants 0. Shit 1.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
