If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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