how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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