My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm always down for nudity.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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