ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize