There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
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Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
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No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.