oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.