Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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