Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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