I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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