didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
