i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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