I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
