We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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