I must be too annoying 4 u.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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