I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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