I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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