Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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