Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
