All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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