dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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