I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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