Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize