saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
