i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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