He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've blown a few things in my day
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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