the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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