So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
