but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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