woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
