Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
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it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize