"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
