but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
