im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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