O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
