U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
