shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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