"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm too high and old for this...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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