There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
