Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
