Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize